This page is a blog where I update about things I've done in math and programming. It'll probably be informal, but I like the idea that this is more like a diary than it is a blog. Just me rambling to myself about my homework

What to Expect if You're Expecting (Which You Shouldn't)

So, I lied. I'm not a grad student yet. I'm close, though! As long as I don't fail out of undergrad this semester a I am good to go. I've even started doing stuff for my future boss so it would be super awkward if I came up to him and was like "hey, buddy, uh, turns out I'm a failure, k thanx bye."

But in any case, all that means for this blog is that it is not going to be as advanced as some of the super cool math sites I've seen on Neocities. Gosh, I super admire people like holeinmyheart making top tier high-level math proof humor or beedge making super cool coding tutorials, and I hope I get there someday, but, uh, this website (at least at first), is probably going to be closer to undergraduate-level math tutorials. Because that's what I can do. And I intend to do it well.

In any case here are some of the things that will probably come up:

But It'll Get Better (A Manifesto)

Man, I feel like a really trash human being. Homework sucks, I suck, and I suck at doing homework. This is me procrastinating.

But! I'm also trying to be a more positive person. I may have spent the entire day laying on the floor of my apartment that gets no outside light staring at manga, watching youtube videos, and listening to music, but I've done a lot of work to get where I am, and I am so close to getting somewhere that I really want to be.

Setbacks are hard, especially when it feels like it's entirely your fault. Somehow, it feels harder to decide to fix yourself and your own behavior than it does to decide to fix things that are difficult, but external. After all, what do you do to change? Just... change? How? Will it happen magically to me when I finally decide to do it?

That's why I'm going to leave my computer, go eat dinner, go outside, and then come back and try again.

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